60th Anniversary, 2004

Every now and again, as in this past week, the media is swamped with news covering the death of a famous or influential person. Talking heads debate the impact of the person’s life and what their legacy will be. The major networks will air specials and documentaries on their life story and replay footage of their best moments.

Today the world lost a great man. He slipped into the next world with no pomp and no flurry of media. My grandfather, my namesake, Eugene Roland Carlson, died at age 87 in the home he and my grandmother raised four children in.  The evening news will not speak of his achievements, most people never knew him, yet for me, he was one of the greatest men I have ever known.

Grandpa and me setting up Christmas decorations in Wrightwood. 1984

Strong, brave, loving, softspoken, and with a twinkle in his eye, he loved life and those around him.   I never heard my grandfather say a mean thing about anyone and he was always quick to lighten the mood with a witty remark.  Even when I last saw him a couple weeks ago, frail and with barely the strength to eat, his sence of humour still shown threw.  He loved wife, his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren; and they loved him.

My earliest years were spent in a stroller watching my grandpa and the rest of our family build a cabin in the mountain town of Wrightwood. These early memories may have subconsciously contributed to my desire to enter the building industry. We spent many holidays and weekends at the cabin and I always looked forward to spending the night in the attic bedroom. We would stay up late playing games and then we would climb up the retractable ladder to our fort in the attic. These times, and the many Christmas’ and other holidays we spent together were a great time to learn how to play horseshoes, start a fire, carve a turkey, and play Yatzee.

May, 17th 1944

Besides building two cabins in Wrightwood, my grandpa built my grandma and his first home in Red Wing Minnesota.  Durring his career as a general contractor he helped with the moon landing mission managing the construction of some of the research facilities in the sixties and built hundreds of structures throughout Minnesota and California.

Prior to this, he served his country bravely in the Navy at the close and after World War II.   He became a Navy pilot on an aircraft carrier and did reconnaissance work throughout the Pacific theater.

What I didn’t fully realize until three years ago was just how much my grandpa loved his wife, Audrey.  When she passed away he lost a piece of himself.  The change was notable.  He loved my grandma more than anything else and their sixty-two years of marriage were a testament of that.  I don’t remember him ever telling her he was too tired to help, he never put her down, nor said negative things about her.  He was always the perfect example of how a husband should treat his wife.

My grandpa was my hero.  Through his selfless life and his persistent smile he has made me a better person.  For that I will be eternally grateful.

I love you grandpa, I can’t wait to see you again.

I want to encourage my friends and family who support and sustain (or merely agree with) President Monson to speak out and be a voice in defense of marriage online, at school, and in the workplace. If we don’t speak out who will? Please do what you can for this important effort.

Feel free to use some of the comments I made as inspiration to post on other online forums or in speaking with your friends. I don’t purport to have all the answers but hopefully I will inspire you to speak boldly and with love. I also would encourage you to read President Monson’s Letter and remember that this is an assignment given to us from a Prophet of God.

Thank you for your faith.

Mormon challenge to gay marriage ban

By Rebecca Rosen Lum

Contra Costa Times

Article Last Updated: 07/07/2008 01:49:28 PM PDT

Some Mormons are rejecting their prophet’s call to campaign for a ban on same-sex marriage in California, suggesting the church leadership’s sway over the issue of homosexuality may be weakening.

In a letter circulated to all the state’s congregations June 29, President and Prophet Thomas Monson called on Mormons to “do all you can” to support the November ballot measure “by donating of your means and time.”

The church strongly supported a successful 2000 California proposition that prohibited same-sex unions. The state Supreme Court struck down the measure May 15, opening the door for same-sex marriages.

The intervening years have brought a more widespread acceptance of homosexuality.

“In the eight years since the state proposition we have all become more educated,” said Walnut Creek Mormon author and playwright Carol Lynn Pearson.

“Most people have realized they have a gay family member or a gay friend or people they work with who are gay. Most people are less quick to judge,” she said.

“The LDS church — any church — has the right to do whatever it wishes, but I applaud the California Supreme Court’s decision,” said Martinez resident Susan Randall, an active Mormon.

Church officials declined to comment, referring calls to the Sacramento coalition behind the ballot measure.

“As I understand it, they are being asked to volunteer in the campaign — walking precincts, phoning voters, putting yard signs up in their yards,” said coalition spokesman Jeff Flint.

A former Brigham Young University professor — Mormon, married and heterosexual — is circulating a letter of his own. In it, he says he does not believe people choose their sexual orientation and that denying them equal opportunities “is grossly unfair.”

“You should also know, not all faithful Mormons agree with our religious leaders’ encroachment into political matters,” Jeffrey Nielsen wrote.

Nielsen, who lost his job at the university two years ago after speaking out about gay rights, said he has received numerous positive e-mails from other Mormons — a sign of times, he said.

Even the leadership is shedding its former characterization of homosexuality, he said. The church once cast homosexuality as an evil choice due to faulty parenting but now suggests biology is the determining factor.

“I’m confident and hopeful we’ll make even greater progress,” Nielsen said.

The church says it counts more than 750,000 members in California.

Even in Utah, some question the mandate. An article on the church’s position in The Salt Lake Tribune drew several indignant responses. Some online posters said they resented being asked to contribute money for a political proposition on top of their required tithe.

“If the LDS church could give me one valid reason of how gay marriage is going to damage my marriage, I would probably jump on the bandwagon and start handing out pamphlets, but they simply cannot,” wrote one.

Another post read, “Now it is clear: The church does not expect its members to think, investigate, or use their minds to look into this issue.”

For one content Mormon, the directive simply underscores a church tenet. All families need a mother and a father — a man and a woman, said Elder Kent Archibald, a Utah resident working temporarily at the Oakland Temple.

“The prophet is very careful not to mix politics with the church except on matters that are fundamental to our beliefs,” he said.

The divide does not fall decisively along age or ethnic lines, although some say California Mormons tend to be more liberal than those in other parts of the country, particularly Utah.

In the Catholic and evangelical Protestant faiths, youths are more likely to part ways with elders over the issue. Not so in the Mormon faith, scholars say.

“I’m not sure this is generational so much as an interesting development of independence among the rank-and-file Mormons,” said Jan Shipps, one of the nation’s leading scholars on Mormons. “This is by no means the first time something like this has happened,” she wrote in an e-mail message. In 1932, the church president urged Mormons not to vote for Franklin D. Roosevelt, but Roosevelt carried Utah in the presidential election.

No faith is as monolithic as it may appear to outsiders, but dissent tends not to become public, said Connecticut College religious studies professor Eugene Gallagher.

“When you’ve got dissent intersecting with politics in a volatile election year, it gets harder to keep quiet,” he said. “We had an especially long democratic primary, a split within the evangelical camp over McCain. There are more folks who are thinking they are want to make up their own minds.”

Walnut Creek Mormon Clark Pingree, a gay man, found Prophet Monson’s letter “devastating.”

“For the first time, the society and the government were giving me the validation I deserved,” he said. “I wasn’t nine-tenths of a person, I was ten-tenths. Now they talk about taking away something that was very uplifting.”

However, he said he doubts most Mormons would question a dictate from the prophet.

“Judging from what I’ve read, I’d say the general public’s attitudes are changing,” said Terry La Giusa, a Mormon and member of Affirmation. La Giusa has lived with her partner for 21 years; the couple have two children. “But in the LDS church, what the prophet says goes.”

Visit the official web site of the show for more information about Coalesce. The show runs through tomorrow evening.

Alatorrefamily.com is a collaborative effort and all family members and friends are encouraged to create an account.

Talatorre.org on the other hand is going to transition into my public front. On this site I will post essays, political writings, restaurant reviews, my resume and portfolio and other professional information. I hope in this way I can protect mine and my families privacy. As time goes on this web site will become more specialized and some information may be moved to the new site.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope that these changes will may these pages easier for everyone to use! Merry Christmas!

EDIT June 9th, 2009: Due to lack of interest and support Alatorrefamily.com was taken down earlier this year. It was a fun experiment.

Chain letters come in many forms, most are harmless text messages that ask you to forward them to 10 or 15 people for one reason or another, some chain letters come as Power Point presentations or have other attachments that could potentially contain viruses. The two chain letter types that I receive the most are the “about me” chain letter and the “petition” chain letter.

The “About Me” letter, as I have named it, usually contains a list of questions that your friend has answered about him or herself and you are supposed to answer the questions yourself and then send it to ten people including the person who sent it to you. In this way you show your true friendship and multiply the distribution of the email by a factor of 10! This email isn’t that bad in that it can be fun, but after doing this once the fun is gone and the next 300 times you receive this letter and don’t return it with all your personal info you feel like a jerk.

The “Petition” chain letter usually steps up the anti as far as guilt. The petition usually is for some tear jerking cause like a child with cancer, some hot political issue, or anything that will get an emotional response from someone. The normal MO is to add your name to the bottom of the list and forward it to ten people. If you are the 100th person on the list you are supposed to send the email to some unsuspecting email recipient. This form of email is great for flooding the email box of a particular person which usually results in them being able to receive legitimate emails. Sometimes this email makes crazy claims like for every person that signs this Microsoft will donate $1.00 to the cause, or if you don’t forward the email evil dwarves will eat your cat. Ok, I’ve never seen that last one but I have seen similar threats and incentives that are just as crazy. If you ever receive an email like this DO NOT FORWARD IT for three reasons:

1. The story is probably not true or is 5 years old.
2. The email is designed to flood someone’s email with junk
3. Effective petitions are never conducted via email. If you think about it, every time you forward the email the signed names are duplicated 10 times. To reach the 100 signatures the email will have duplicated to 10,000,000,000 emails and of the 1,000,000,000,000 names on the petitions only 1/100 will be unique. If you were to do a petition via email you would create a website where people would go to sign and only send out a link in the email where people would go. Since I’ve never seen a chain letter like this make it a rule to DELETE the email.

With this said you are probably sensing my frustration. A couple days ago I received a really nice chain mail with a touching message about returning to innocence and how to appreciate life you need trials. Then at the end of the email was a riddle and a message that to receive the answer to the riddle you needed to forward the email to 10 people and the answer would appear on your screen. Well, that ruined my good mood. I knew that people would be forwarding this email like crazy hoping to get the answer and not realizing that to have the answer appear on your screen was a likely as dwarves eating your cat. So, as I have done many times I responded to everyone who the email was sent to with the following message:

For all of you who actually forwarded this to ten people thinking
you’d get the answer…. sad… : ) But here IS the answer
-Link to the answer-
Tim

I sent the message to give people the answer they would most likely want and thereby eliminating the incentive to forward the email. Yes, the email was a little condescending and I didn’t look who sent it or who I was replying to, I just mailed it. Well…… A day later I found out the email was forwarded by a family member who I embarrassed a bit. Ouch. I didn’t mean for that to happen. So, I’d like to publicly apologize and let everyone know that if you don’t forgive me and forward this article to 10 people then evil dwarves will eat your cat.

Well, I though that was fun. If you want to find out what your name means I found this information at parenthood.com

Funeral Services for
Norma Barto
December 8, 2003
Paso Robles

Brothers and Sisters, this is indeed a sad occasion. The tragic passing of Norma Barto has left her family and friends and those throughout the community, many who had never met Norma, shocked and saddened beyond what can be adequately expressed. I am sure I am joined by everyone here today in expressing to Norma’s family how heavy our hearts are for each of you for the intense pain you must be feeling at this time.

Norma worked for us for many years so I had an opportunity to visit with her often. She was always such an upbeat, happy person who was a joy to be around. Knowing that I was going to speak here today, I called several people who knew Norma and asked them to share their insights about her. Of course, everyone mentioned how hard working she was – many adding with emphasis: incredibly hard working! Everyone knew how much she loved her daughters – she talked about them all of the time. Not only were they beautiful, they were very smart. She was so proud of them. Norma encouraged her daughters to get a good education. I remember how excited she was with the progress Michelle was making in school at the University of Utah and how happy she was that Michelle had decided to pursue a career in medicine.

Others said how sweet and pleasant Norma was all the time. She was always willing to help. Norma liked helping people and had other people?s interest at heart. She would fill her car with clothes that she had collected and take them to the less fortunate in Mexico. Several people described Norma as being kind and non-judgmental, Christlike in forgiving of others and refused to hold a grudge when offended.

I remember, as do others, Norma talking about her husband Phil and often saying, he’s a “good man” Phil and Norma certainly raised two outstanding daughters together. Some told me how absolutely beautiful Norma would look when she got dressed up -they described her as being very classy and elegant. In social gatherings, she had a sparkling personality where she would take the lead in making others feel happy and relaxed. She had a great sense of humor. And there were others who expressed appreciation for her patience in letting them practice their Spanish on her.

Norma is a spiritual person who loves the Lord and prays for others. Several people mentioned the good advice she gave them. She loves the Gospel of Jesus Christ and is dedicated to living a good Christian life. I remember 7 or 8 years ago talking to her about going to the Temple for the first time. She was somewhat apprehensive, but she wanted so much to draw closer to the Savior. Going to the temple of the Lord was a marvelous experience for her.

In this life, we are in the valley of the shadow. That’s what mortality is. Adversity will come to all of us. But we are not alone in this valley. The Savior is with us as our companion and our shepherd. Norma earnestly sought the companionship of the Savior. Understanding the plan of salvation that God has for us is a powerful comfort and protection as we deal with adversity.
(Sanctuary by Chieko Okazaki)

The Psalmist wrote, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me”. (Psalm 23:4) We cannot escape the fact that through this life we live in the shadow of death. Grief and pain come to us all. All must endure loss as we pass through the valley of the shadow in mortality. A wise person said, “When someone dies, you don’t ‘ ‘get over it’ by forgetting. You ‘get over it’ by remembering” (Leslie Marmon Silko) So, the pain is lessened by remembering the good person Norma has been and the positive influence she has been in our lives.

And we should remember that we are not alone in this valley. The Savior is with us as our companion and our shepherd. The Savior promised us that in times of trial and adversity, “I will not leave you comfortless”. Understanding the Plan of Salvation is a powerful comfort as we deal with adversity.

Even though we don’t remember it, the scriptures tell us that we lived with our Father in Heaven before we came to this earth. This is known as the pre-existence. We came to this earth to learn and grow, to be tested and tried and to gain a physical body. Our birth in this world was our spirit coming from the presence of Heavenly Father and gaining a physical body. Life on this earth is but another step in a great, eternal march. Here we have opportunity for experience, for improvement, for growth.

Norma understands God’s plan for us. She understands that as we go through this life, we will make mistakes, we will have trials and will suffer, but that Jesus Christ is our Savior through the sacrifice of the Atonement. He has given to us direction and guidance through scriptures and His prophets to help us wend our way though this life we call mortality. Even more personal and comforting as we face life’s challenges is the knowledge that we can receive direct guidance from God by seeking Him through personal prayer. Norma regularly used this channel of communication with God.

The time comes in this life where the body and the spirit separate. That separation is called death. When the body dies, the spirit does not die, but lives on. The part of us that looks out through our eyes and allows us to think and smile and act and to know and to be, that includes our personality, that is our spirit and it is eternal. It cannot die.

So, where does our eternal spirit go? Our spirit goes to a place in the Spirit World called paradise where we await the final judgment and resurrection. We weep today because of our separation from a loved one, but we do not need to weep for Norma. She is happy. She is reuniting with friends and family that have preceded her in death. She remains the same fine person with the same attributes she had in this life. She has left her body behind, but her spirit lives on. One day however, just as the Savior Jesus Christ was resurrected by the reuniting of His Spirit and Body, so will Norma be resurrected and have a perfect, glorified body.

To those who grieve the tragic loss of a loved one, a prophet of God sensitively explained, “If we looked at mortality as the whole of existence, then pain, sorrow, failure, and short life would be a calamity. But if we look upon life as an eternal thing stretching far into the premortal past and on into the eternal post-death future, then all happenings may be put in proper perspective.” (President Spencer W. Kimball)

Much peace and comfort comes from the understanding that family ties and relationships can endure in the hereafter. In addition to the joy of family relationships extended forever into the eternity’s, just try and imagine the excitement and potential of having an eternity before you. That is Norma’s perspective. She understands God’s Plan of Happiness. She understands that families can be together forever.

I love this saying because it reminds me of how Norma lived her life: “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal”.
(Alexander Pope)

Norma passed from this earth under tragic circumstances -circumstances that have left us baffled and wondering. Nevertheless, I know that she now enjoys peace and happiness. The challenge lies with those loved ones left behind. Where can you find peace and comfort? The Savior offered this divine promise: “Come unto me, all ye that are heavy laden, …and ye shall find rest for your soul”. (Matthew 11:28-29)

To those who grieve, the Savior’s promise of peace is the comforting balm which heals, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you,. Let not your heart be trouble, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27) “I go to prepare a place for you….; that where I am, there ye may be also.” (John 14:2-3)

Norma Barto is a good and generous and righteous person who lifted others with her spirituality and service. She will be greatly missed. We have the wonderful opportunity to honor her by incorporating the best attributes from her life into our own lives. Remember and cherish the choice memories you have had together.

May the Lord bless all of you whose hearts are so heavy and hurting today with peace and comfort is my prayer.